It’s Shake N’ Bake and Allen Helped

Sitting on the floor, I stared absently across the room at the curtains. The mildy tacky yellow and blue floral curtains, whose print pattern was shared by all the living room furniture of the previous owners, whose loud, awkward coloring has stained the aura of our living room for over two and a half years.

Gradually my gaze tightened onto the surface of the curtains, onto a flattened spot back lit by sun. Something seemed odd about the flowers — I perceived a depth, like old woodcut scene. It *was* an old woodcut scene. These were not flowers, there was something there, something…

“Are those…”, I stuttered, “…chickens?!”, I exclaimed as I rose to my feet, alarmed. Leslie, nearby and only dimly aware of my stirring, muttered a disengaged “uh-huh”. I went to the curtains and stared into one of the blue splotches that covered it’s surface. Much to my horror, I saw a rooster. A rooster, a hen and four chicks.

“CHICKENS!”, I gasped, the frightening revelation washing over me like waves of cold terror. “We have chicken curtains!”